Australian Slang

I have been keeping a list of terms I have heard when talking to some of the Australians. Most of them make sense, but a few need translation (at least for me).  After a talk with an Australian friend of mine on Friday, I decided it was time to post the list.

Capsicum= red bell pepper

Sultanas: raisins

Esky= cooler

Shrapnel= change

Full stop= period

Note= $ bill

Groty= dirty

Fortnight= two weeks

Mozzy= mosquito

Larrikin= someone with no shame, but is always likeable

Togs= swimsuit

Jumper= light jacket

Root= The F bomb

Cheeky= flirtatious, silly

Cheers= The greeting I hear more than “G’day mate”

Good on ya= Way to go

Car Park= Parking lot

Rock Melon= Cantaloupe

Booking= appointment

Car Park= Parking lot

Hotel= Usually a name followed by the word “hotel” is a pub.

 

On Friday, I found out I have incorrectly been using a word in Australia AND America.  I was talking about the hill by our house and I said, “That hill is such a booger!” Amy (my Australian friend who fills me in on words I don’t quite get) said, “Do you mean bugger?” (pronounced bugga) I said, “I don’t think so. I mean that hill is a booger.” When Tony corrected me, we all rolled with laughter that I never knew the correct terminology.

It gets better, though:

Amy and I were having a conversation and I said, “I guess I just pulled that out of my fanny.” After we finished chatting, Amy whispered, “When you said fanny earlier, I know what you meant, but you may want to hold back on using the word ‘fanny’ here.” Me (shocked): “Really, WHY?” Amy went on to inform me that fanny means the female girl part when people use the word that starts with P and ends with y.  Surely you all can figure that out without me spelling it! I was horrified! What is funny to me is that most Australians I have met are very free with their words.  Curse words are commonly heard.  I try to hold back by saying fanny, and it is offensive. Yay, me!

The magpie strikes again!

The magpie strikes again!  Only this time, it wasn’t an attack on me:

 

The children and I met some friends at the park the other day before heading into the city to have lunch with Tony.  This particular day, it was extremely hot and humid.  Hannah Grace rode her bike, while Ellis and I walked.  We were on our way home, melting in the heat.  Hannah Grace was quite a bit ahead of us, ready to get home and jump in the pool.  I could see her ahead as she quickly turned her bike around and began peddling fast towards us.  I whispered, “Oh no”, because I was certain I knew why she was heading back in our direction.  As she got closer, I gently took Ellis’s hand and guided us off the walkway.  Her eyes were huge, her shoulders were tucked up by her ears, and she was laughing as she yelled, “It’s chasing me!” I watched as she raced up the hill, followed by the dang magpie swooping her. I am not sure what is worse: stepping out of the way in order to avoid being swooped OR belly laughing at Hannah Grace being swooped?

In the states, when I walk, I avoid streets with dogs that might try to eat me.  Here, I avoid streets with magpie nests.  I am running out of streets.  This girl is ready for the end of magpie season!

Here is the solution to avoid magpie attacks while riding a bike:

 

OOPS, I Did It Again!

I talked to my sister last week and she commented on how much she laughs when she reads my blogs. I told her that I was considering renaming my blog to “I am not funny, I am just an idiot.”  This weekend confirmed that thought…

 

We had our first Australian wedding to attend this past weekend at Caloundra Beach (about an hour from Bulimba).  The wedding was for a couple that Tony met when our friend Lee was here back in March.  Patrick and Shelley are from Canada and Tony loves hanging out with them. Unfortunately, our schedules have been so busy that I had not met either of them before their big day. 

We woke up early Saturday to head to Caloundra. The kids and I have been so excited to go to the beach, so we wanted to get there in time to splash around before the 3:30 wedding. We wore our swimsuits in the car, so that we wouldn’t waste a minute before jumping in! We were about 45 minutes into our trip when I got those bug eyes, looked at Tony, and could only muster up an “Oh my gosh”.  I don’t know why it hit me, but all of a sudden I had a vision of the clothes at home that I had forgotten to grab on the way out the door.  Remember now, I was wearing my swimsuit in the car.  As much as I like my swimsuit and cover-up, I was certain that I would not make a good first impression with the bride if I wore that to her wedding.  Tony had a good laugh and kept driving towards Caloundra. 

We arrived at our hotel, Tony and the kids went to the pool, and I headed out to the street in hopes to find an appropriate dress for the wedding that didn’t cost an arm and a leg. It took a little over an hour, but the trip was successful. I found several things, including a dress that went perfectly with my black Nike flip-flops that I wore on the trip over. I can only imagine what people must have thought about my taste in dressy shoes.

The setting (Shelley Beach) was beautiful for the wedding!  It was a rocky beach that created huge sprays when the waves crashed up against them.  We took our seats along with the handful of guests in attendance.  At one point, Patrick and Shelley sat at a table that was positioned directly in front of my seat.  As I said earlier, I had not met Patrick and Shelley before now.  I so desperately wanted to lean over and whisper, “It’s so nice to meet you.” I didn’t know if she would think it was funny, so I refrained.  Luckily, the wedding ended before the sandcastle that Ellis was building with his feet could get any larger.  We chatted with Patrick and Shelley and gave them our congratulations before heading to the rocks to try and get a picture of the kids. I imagined it would make a great picture for our Christmas card.  I believe Ellis made it to the second rock before sliding on his bum the rest of the way.  Meanwhile, the wedding guests posed for a group picture with the bride and groom.  Not to worry, the photographer said she could crop us into the photo. So, there we were, standing on the beach with several feet between each of us, posing for a photo we had completely missed. Hopefully my flip-flops and Ellis’s pants didn’t make the cut!

 Yes, that is how close my chair was to the bride and groom. There were actually a row of chairs, but we moved per photographers request. Everyone else moved their chair. I left mine (along with the flops) as I darted out of the way.

                     Hannah Grace said it looked like Ellis pooped in his pants.

                                      It pretty much did.

This picture was taken the next day when we went kayaking and swimming at Caloundra Beach.

A week of driving under my belt

I survived a week of driving without anyone being hurt or any damages being done to the car.  Thank goodness!  Hannah Grace started her golf lessons, so we were out and about each morning.  It still baffles me that these sweet Australians trust me to drive a car without taking a test. The following describes the events throughout the week.

 

Day One: It was the Queen’s Holiday, so not many cars were on the road. It was rainy out, so I was very thankful for the lack of cars.  My hands were holding on for dear life at 10 and 2.  I was sweating, despite running the air condition.  We didn’t listen to music and no one was allowed to talk while the car was moving.  My friend from Texas, Janelle, told me to sing, “To the left, to the left” (Beyonce’s lyrics) to remind me what side of the road I should be on.  The song ran through my head the entire drive. I think I went to bed singing it.

Day Two: The sun was out and so were the cars. Everyone was back to work and back on the roads.  Hands still at 10 and 2, but I was no longer strangling the steering wheel. “To the Left” was still echoing in my head.  After dropping off Hannah Grace at the golf course, Ellis and I went to the grocery store.  I managed to get in on the wrong side of the car…AGAIN! It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t squeal with laughter, yelling at Ellis “Look what I did”, drawing the attention from all of the people passing by. 

Day Three: One hand on 2, the other by my side.  We listened to music and had conversations.  I was getting the hang of it.

Day Four: By day four, man was I feeling good.  I had a hand at 2 and then I would change and have a hand at 10. I changed lanes. We sang along to songs. I actually changed the radio station. We had great conversations.  It was during one of those conversations that both hands went back to 10 and 2 and I sang, “to the left, to the left”.  Don’t worry, I was on the left side of the road. I just had to remind myself. I had become so relaxed that for a split second, I thought, “WAIT, am I doing this right?” 

 

Day Five:  Tony took the day off from work.  He took Hannah Grace and I haven’t driven again.

Hervey Bay

Ever since Tony told me we were going whale watching, I envisioned the wonderful blog that I would write. No funny stories, just wonderful memories from our trip.  Hmm, I should have known it would not be that rosy.

 

Tony planned a memorable trip to Hervey Bay, just north of Brisbane. Hervey Bay is a four hour drive, so we made it a weekend trip. Just before 7 in the morning on Saturday, we ventured out to catch the shuttle to our boat. The moment the captain stepped off the bus to greet us and said, “The conditions could not be worse for a boat tour”, we should have turned around and walked away.  No, we didn’t.  We continued on to pick up two more families and then off to the marina.  As we stepped on the dock, despite the calm seas at the marina, you could see the rough waters out past the jetty.  I shot a quick glare to Tony, but we marched on to greet even more families already on the catamaran. The captain stressed again how rough the water was and gave us multiple opportunities to back out.  I tried oh so hard, but little Ellis’s eyes batted up at me and he said, “Please, Mommy, let’s go.”  My mind told me to load everybody back in the van, but I couldn’t deny my little fella the opportunity for this adventure.  So, we set sail.

To say the water was rough might be a bit understated.  When I asked Tony to go and get me a life jacket, Hannah Grace’s eyes alone showed how mortified she was at the thought. “NO, MOM!” leapt from her mouth.  No turning around and no life jacket.  I am pretty sure we were not 2 hours into our SEVEN hour trip when Ellis began feeding the marine life with all that was in his tummy.  No turning back, no life jacket, and a sea sick child. *yippee* Although, I did not like the idea of my child being sick, I could handle his throw up. The sound and sight of everyone else throwing up, however, didn’t do so much for me. At that point, I didn’t care that I wasn’t wearing a life jacket. I was ready to hurl myself into the bay and offer myself as breakfast to the whales. 

The seven hour trip (I kept singing Gilligan’s Island theme song using “seven hour tour” in my head) was not a total loss.  Because the waters were so choppy, the whales were very active.  I loved seeing them fly in the air.  That part was thrilling.  Once we had seen several pods of whales, we moved to calmer water blocked by sandbars and used the sails to guide us.  At this point, everyone seemed to be feeling much better.  Ellis became a new child, running and jumping across the catamaran. I decided his seasickness probably helped with my nerves. I don’t know that I could have handled running and jumping when the boat was being tossed from side to side.  So, in the end, all was good.  We ALL agree, though, next time we will commit to half a day only in calm waters.