Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Music has always been a big part of my life. It seems every time something big happens, different lyrics pop in to my head. “Should I stay or should I go?” by the Clash are the lyrics that have been a constant on my brain. Just those seven words, though, which can be annoying at times. 

Since this summer, we have known that Tony’s project at FLUOR would end in December. Out the window went my perfect plan of leaving here in June of 2017 to take Hannah Grace back to South Carolina for her Senior year. I needed a new plan…because that is what I do, I plan. I mull things over in my head, overthinking every possible situation and I continuously  ask Tony, “Any news?” I drive us both crazy. We knew the project would end in December, but weren’t sure where we would land next. Several options were thrown out, but only two became actual possibilities: a project in Houston and a project in the Philippines. And thus the song, “Should I Stay or Should I go?” popped in my head. Mind you, neither project in those places had been won, so it was my job to drive Tony and myself crazy by constantly trying to determine which project that I wanted FLUOR to be awarded. 

Our answer came many weeks later. The project in the Philippines was won and it was time to have a family meeting. Hannah Grace has always said that she wanted to go back to Seneca for her senior year (despite absolutely loving it here). The anticipation of that family meeting tore me to pieces. Two options were given to the children and we weighed their answers heavily. We could leave for Houston in December OR we could all stay in the Philippines until June 2018….getting Hannah Grace through High School Graduation. Ellis’s answer came quickly, “I want to live where we can all be together as a family.” Hannah Grace’s answer took much more thought and many, many tears. 

The lyrics no longer hum through my brain every waking moment. We will stay. It is what the entire family wants. What solidified my certainty that we are exactly where we need to be were the tears that came from Hannah Grace’s coach as she talked about Hannah Grace and our future. The icing on the cake was being greeted last night with a big smile from the Headmaster of the school and his excitement over us staying. My children are so loved. Nothing makes a mama happier.